A nun is undressing for a bath and while she's standing naked, there's a knock at the door. The nun calls, "Who is it?"
A voice answers, "A blind salesman."
The nun decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she's naked so she lets him in. The man walks in, looks straight at the nun and says, "Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie...?"
A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. The sales manager stepped in.
Sales manager: Excuse me, but will you be needing a hose to water your lawn?
Customer : I guess so. I'll take one.
Sales manager: And how about some fertilizer and weed-killer?
Customer : Um, okay.
Sales manager: Here's a couple of bags. You'll also need a lawn mower to cut the grass when it starts growing too long.
Customer : I'll take one of those too.
After the customer left, the sales manager turned to the assistant. "You see?" he said, "that's the way to make a good sale. Always sell more than what the customer originally came in for."
Impressed, the assistant headed off for the pharmaceutical section, where he was to work. Soon, a man strolled in.
Man: I'd like to buy a pack of Tampax, please.
Sales assistant: Sure, and would you like to buy a lawn mower too?
Man: Why would I want to do that?
Sales assistant: Well, your weekend's shot to hell anyway, so you might as well mow the lawn.
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an
exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that
the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his
overly attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer
his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do
anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky,
for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition
was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do
in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment,
withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills,
which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes &
slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."
The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks.
He'd cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"
The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, "The lady who lives here, lets me sleep with her."
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